Friday, 13 July 2012

how has childhood affected you?

Linking with twinkle in the eye for Flash Blog Friday and with some grace for Flog ya blog Friday

How much has your childhood/upbringing affected you? do little things trigger memories and make you feel how you did back then?
I won't go too much into my childhood as yet. It wasn't thaaaat bad but it wasn't super great. My sister and I were raised by just our mum as our dad died a few months before I was born. She had no family support at all as she moved to Australia from Germany, 2 years before my sister was born. So you can imagine she felt alone and turned to what she could for comfort.

Lately DH has been falling asleep all the time right on bed time for the kids. We all sit in the loungeroom watching the great ABC 2 for kids. Can NOT escape In the Night Garden as bub is obsessed. Every time i look over DH is asleep. Does it piss me off? bloody oath it does. i can't get what is so hard about staying awake. His excuse is that In the Night Garden is boring. Yeh well we dont' all find travelling by Ninky Nonk or ponking in the Pinky Ponk too thrilling but as adults we aren't really there to watch the show but more be there for the kids.
   In the Night Garden video

So why am I pissed off?? I really don't know. I can't pin point it. Part of it is the feeling of abandonment (yeh i know , silly, he is in the same room as me)I feel let down by him too. I am not saying he is letting me down because he isn't as he is totally oblivious to my irrational thoughts. I feel let down in that he has juts thought of himself and thinks it's ok to just drop off to sleep whenever he wants. Forget the fact that i am the one up 2-3 times a night and more often than not wake up in a different bed. Imagine if we both just decided to drop off to sleep just because we find In the Night Garden boring. Well we couldn't it would be neglectful leaving the kids awake by themselves at the ages they are. And there is that feeling!!
Childhood memories coming back. Our mother always falling asleep. No matter where you looked she was asleep. She'd lay on our bed while we were playing....then she'd be asleep. She'd be watching tv...then be asleep. You get up and get ready for school...she's asleep. so while i probably didn't feel neglected back then i think back now how it was and with dh doing it i realise it was almost a form of neglect. she should have been there for us. not asleep all the time.
so in reality dh falling asleep isn't his issue, it's mine . how do i deal with it?? who knows??

What things bring back childhood memories/feelings for you?


  1. Steff you have shared so honestly in this post, brave woman! I understand so much the getting annoyed at hubby for doing things that really are about our past more then whats happening in the present!! Luv Donna

  2. Sorry, but both my hubby and I have taken turns in falling asleep in front of ITNG. I nod off not because it's boring, but it's actually really soothing for me.
    Strange, but true.
    Maybe have a chat with your mum and find out ? You might find that there was another reason to her falling asleep and it most likely wasn't intentional. It might bring you guys closer. You never know.

    1. hi. i'd love to ask my mum but she passed away 15 yrs ago from alcoholism, hence the tiredness...which has now resulted in my emotions playing up and feeling the same which i know is irrational.
      i'd love to also fall asleep infront of that show but never can cos dh aways does :(

  3. Into the Night Garden is very 'trippy'! We were introduced to it when my nieces were young. Try watching it on a Saturday morning hungover.....we were a tad disturbed.

    Not sure I will let Miss Z or Master M become fans. A little too freaky for my liking! ;)

    My dad was always the one to fall asleep, I remember that, but he worked weird hours at times, so I couldn't fault him on being tired. I guess he tried his best to stay awake to be with us when he was home. :(


    i just found this as the show also has me intrigued. it's great to think they designed simply with the idea of having children relax and focus completley on takiign the stress and anxiety out of bed time. now, i don't think it was aimed at making husbands sleepy lol

  5. Keep it in perspective and try to not to 'punish' him for what he is triggering in you. It won't be good for either of you. Have you thought about counselling? Someone impartial to talk to might help you better understand these things and put them in their place.