Only 9 days ago, even less I was questioning my marriage and would it last. The day after writing THAT post things got even worse. We fought all morning. I am not usually one to cry in public but I couldn't even say hello to miss s friends mum at soccer without crying. I highly considered going away for a week with the kids. I took time to see the lady who visited my a week or so ago (read here). We talked heaps and she said I have lots of thinking to do about where i want to be etc.
Then things changed in what seemed like a split second. BM refused to pick up chatterbox simply because my DH pissed her off. Dh took chatterbox over and BM literally shut the door in both their faces and told them DH is to keep chatterbox as he went against what consequences she had set. Now ffs, even though i was not getting on with chatterbox that weekend I knew she'd done nothing wrong so I didn't see the big deal. So chatterbox came home to us. In the split second when dh rang and told me BM shut the door on chatterbox things changed. A mother doesn't just do that to their child. Especially a troubled child. AND just to get back at her ex. If BM was truly concerned about chatterbox and thought that my dh does such a crap job she'd have snapped her back up in a second and not let dh see her. But instead she did the opposite. The resentment and hate I felt suddenly left.
The next day we sent chatterbox off to school and dh rang child support to find out what steps to take to have chatterbox full time. It kind of just happened. No lengthy discussions. But we both silently agreed I guess that chatterbox was not in a safe secure environment with her mother. We later discussed it with chatterbox and gave her the option to choose to stay with us as opposed to moving to Sydney. She seemed happy. Things just fell into place. I even decided that she'd be best to have bub's room as it's more private and bub would then be closer to miss s and little man. SO the weekend was taken up with a major room change over. Pictured is bub's new room. I love it. It suits her so much better.
Our aim for chatterbox is to try and give her freedom but with limits. We've given her a laptop(and I got a new one yippee yay!!) but it's time restricted and can be web site restricted if need be. We ask she attends church once a month with us for now and if she does that for us we allow her to sleep at a friends house of her choice and in her time there they do what they want providing she makes it back home to us when required the next day. Chatterbox so far seems ok with this which is great.
Things feel different. The mother has left town as of today. Her farewell to chatterbox on Friday night was a slap across the face and to tell her she does not want to see her again. Charming.
So at this stage it's baby steps but we pray to build chatterbox's trust and give her the love and consistency she needs.
linking with jess at diary of a SAHM for i blog on tuesdays and with some grace for Flog ya Blog Friday