The minute we conceive our child we embark on an incredible journey of love, happiness, excitement, fear, anxiety, sadness and lots more as we grow to know the little person we created. No one says it's easy, but no one exactly prepares you for how hard it is. Hard because you always want the best for your child/children and you constantly analyze what you do and hope and pray it will help them positively through their life.
Some days are absolute bliss and you could easily relive them over and over. Those are days the children rarely fight, and do as they are told, and a general happy mood is felt all around. Other days you want to pack your suitcase and catch the first flight to the top of Australia to go snorkeling at the Great Barrier Reef and forget you were ever a parent. Not possible though i know!!
There are constant feelings of joy, frustration, sadness etc. They can come in many forms, and happen in a split second. Joy can be from watching your child playing happily with her toys, or the excitement you see on your sons face after he's been the the rugby with dad, or just watching your baby sleep so peacefully. Frustration can come from when the children fight, or when one of them chooses to wear shorts and a t shirt in the middle of winter....not only are you frustrated that he won't listen to you but you are also frustrated at yourself for not packing those clothes away to reduce that temptation for your child, the moment ice started appearing on the grass outside. Sadness comes across for all different reasons. An overwhelming sadness came over me just the other day when i was holding my baby who is soon to be 1. I remembered endless nights of patting her and trying to get her burps up, and just how tiny she was. I realised at that moment I would never do that again. I don't think i felt as sad with my other 2 as i was already pregnant by the time they turned 1. The worst sadness i have felt so far is losing a baby when i was 16weeks pregnant. It's a sadness that you just can't describe to anyone. No one prepares you for any of these emotions, or tells you you may feel all of these in the short time of a day, even half a day. All of it worth it however because you love your child unconditionally no matter how hard or easy or frustrating a day you have had.
My parenting journey started in May 2006 when i discovered i was pregnant with my first child. She was not planned at all (planned in the fact we hoped we;d have children together one day, but not planned for that time)The minute i knew i was pregnant my life changed, i was no longer my own person, i was now responsible for this baby and myself. Life as i knew it would never be the same again but i wouldn't change it for the world!